


A Single Senbon

by Sendryl



Category: Naruto
Genre: A little more angsty than I thought it would be, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, BAMF Shiranui Genma, But I love them too much not to put them in, Doesn't Want to Deal With Your Stupidity Zabuza, Endearments, Everybody Lives, Foolishly and with great hubris, Gekkō Hayate LIVES Dammit, Genma's mother was from Kiri, Insults, Kiri Nin speak Okinawa Dialect, Kiri and Konoha are Allies, Kiri is Okinawa, Language Barrier, M/M, Misunderstandings, No Beta, Oblivious Gai, Oops, Pining, The Gekkō/Zabuza is slight, We Die Like Men, just a lil bit, lbh Genma's always BAMF, this is way longer than I intended
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-23
Updated: 2019-12-23
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:00:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21777175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sendryl/pseuds/Sendryl
Summary: A single senbon. For a brief instant, that was all that Gai could see - a single senbon shooting past the tip of his nose at an almost inhuman speed. Instinct kicked in and he jerked his head back, confused and alarmed and already twisting to see which of their enemies had gotten behind him, his body arcing and rolling to follow his head in the swiftest sideways handspring he could manage.The poisoned kunai, aimed for his spine, missed him by millimeters.
Relationships: Gekkou Hayate/Momochi Zabuza, Maito Gai | Might Guy/Shiranui Genma
Comments: 10
Kudos: 70





	A Single Senbon

**Author's Note:**

> There was an "Imagine Your OTP" post on Tumblr, and then this happened.
> 
> This is way longer than I meant it to be, and required so much more research than I thought it would.
> 
> Please leave a comment or come drop me a line on Tumblr - I'm Sendryl on there too. :)
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> GUYS! Malakia made me a fic cover!!!! AHHHHHH! [Malakia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Malakia)

A single senbon. For a brief instant, that was all that Gai could see - a single senbon shooting past the tip of his nose at an almost inhuman speed. Instinct kicked in and he jerked his head back, confused and alarmed and already twisting to see which of their enemies had gotten behind him, his body arcing and rolling to follow his head in the swiftest sideways handspring he could manage.

The poisoned kunai, aimed for his spine, missed him by millimeters.

The genin underneath him cursed, already flashing through hand signs for a spear of hardened earth, but now that Gai knew he was in range of taijutsu strikes? He didn’t stand a chance.

The rest of the fight was over quickly, resulting in two battered Iwa genin on the ground in a groaning pile and the third unconscious on top of them. Safe in the trees with his team, Gai took a moment to rest, gnawing on a ration bar. The taste wasn’t the best, but staying youthful meant keeping your energy up, and keeping your energy up in the field meant a ration bar. At least they had both scrolls now. The rest of the chūnin exam should be simple enough, as long as there were no more surprises.

He nearly inhaled the bar whole when Genma started shouting.

“ _Gai-gwaa!_ If you let yourself maasun by an Iwa habu I will never forgive you!”

_Maasun is Kiri dialect for defeat, gwaa is some kind of insult,_ Gai recalled, but he didn’t know what a habu could be. And he didn’t have time to think about it.

Genma was continuing, going red in the face with rage, deprecations and criticisms mixing with incomprehensible words Gai was sure he’d picked up from his Kiri-born mother. Gai couldn’t help floundering a bit, unsure of what to do in the face of such a strange deviation from the norm. It didn’t help that Ebisu was desperately holding in laughter.

Gai stared with wide eyes and an open mouth, trying to match the furious genin in front of him to his teammate - ever-calm, level-headed Genma. Ebisu had always been the one to shout and scream when things went wrong, while Genma typically was behind them both, wisecracking and quietly laughing at everyone as they panicked. They were a good team - Gai’s certainty and taijutsu, Ebisu’s intelligence and knowledge of ninjutsu, Genma’s calm and pinpoint accuracy in everything he tried - they flowed together, attacking and defending and supporting each other in and out of battles. They were a good, solid team, and typically they each stuck to their role.

It seemed that today, everyone was acting their opposites.

He managed to shake off his confusion after a moment, steadying himself and building up his inner fire to face the rest of the challenges the exam would certainly throw at them. His teammate was upset, and even though Gai didn’t know why, he had to calm him down. The Iwa genin weren’t the only other team in the forest, after all. Just as Genma puffed up for another bellow, Gai grinned with a decisive thumbs up.

“Genma, my friend, the fire of your youth has moved me! I will not allow myself to be defeated by anyone, or I will run around the village fifty times! Be at ease!”

Genma stopped mid-word, his mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water. He sank down with a sigh to crouch on the branch beside Gai, rubbing his hands over his face as he grumbled.

“You- I can’t believe you would be so- _Jiraa!_ ” Genma screamed into his hands.

Gai was frozen beside him, unsure why his reassurance had elicited such a dramatic reaction. From _Genma_. What was going on?

Genma, hands still covering his face, let all his breath out in a gusty sigh and tipped over into him. Gai yelped, hands coming up almost without thought to catch his teammate as Ebisu dissolved into laughter. He grabbed the back of Genma’s jacket and one of his arms, holding him tightly to keep him on the branch.

“Gai-gwaa,” Genma mumbled, glancing up over his lowering fingers with a petulant glare.

Gai tried not to blush, but having Genma look up at him so cutely, while holding him so close? He valiantly fought to keep his face from heating.

“Be more careful,” Genma pleaded, curling his fingers down to his chin, and only now did Gai realize that Genma’s senbon was missing from his mouth.

_He had it at the beginning of the fight. He only uses that senbon if there’s an emergency, if there is no other way to- Oh._

The senbon, shot from behind him, startling him into dodging a poisoned kunai he hadn’t seen.

Gai’s urge to blush faded as he realized just how serious Genma was.

“I’m sorry I scared you,” The words fell out of Gai’s mouth without conscious thought, but he was completely serious. “I won’t do it again.”

He didn’t know how to keep a vow like that, not in their world, but he’d find a way. It was worth it for the way Genma’s face lit up.

He stood on the branch, pulling Gai up with him, and stuck a fresh senbon in his mouth as he grinned.

“You’d better not, Gai-gwaa,” Genma threatened, still grinning, and Gai couldn’t help laughing at the playful insult.

**

Gai did his best to keep his vow.

He didn’t always succeed, however. There were many injuries and close calls over years and promotions, and every time they were safe from danger Genma would scold and insult and yell, whether ‘safe’ meant patching their wounds in a forest, waking up in the hospital to worried friends’ faces, or even both, one after the other. It was simply how their lives were. Being a shinobi meant risking everything for the mission, for Konoha, for your friends, even for their transfers from Kiri once they allied with Konoha.

But every time he failed, every time Genma’s face grew drawn and stressed, every time Genma was filled with fear for him, he renewed his vow in his heart. He would not scare Genma again.

He trained hard and harder, pushing himself beyond his limits at any opportunity. His teammates eagerly followed his example, Ebisu complaining at every exercise and Genma exuding that calm confidence that seemed to come so easily to him. Chōza-sensei helped, even though they were chūnin now and he could’ve left them to their own devices. Instead, he was always available when they needed him, encouraging them to keep going, offering all the food a growing shinobi could want from his seemingly infinite pockets - a sandwich from his hip pocket, onigiri from his belt pouch, a full bowl of ramen from his flak jacket - they all begged to know how he did it, but he laughed them off every time.

“Clan secrets,” he would say, one finger tapping his nose as he grinned. He laughed even harder when he overheard them calling him vending machine-sensei, and offered them a perfectly sauteed salmon meuniere. Out of his kunai pouch.

Gai adored his team. They never mocked him for being unable to perform ninjutsu for so long, never treated him like he was strange for pushing himself so hard, for being so enthralled with life and the world around them. They encouraged him, filled in the spaces in their team that he couldn’t, and trusted him to fill the spaces they left open. As chūnin they were given solo missions and put together with other shinobi, and when they made jōnin and tokujō they could lead their own missions, and they all enjoyed the increased freedom and responsibility. But they still sparred and trained together whenever they could, and when the Hokage was benevolent enough to put them on missions together they raised all kinds of hell.

Through it all, through Gai’s dedicated training and challenges and missions, Genma was keeping pace and training his own skills, chiding and encouraging and insulting and laughing. Giving his easy smiles and his rare moments of worry and all the attention Gai craved. Genma was a gentle balm to the needy and lonely part of Gai, the part of himself he’d done his best to bury since childhood. With Genma around, he didn’t feel needy or insecure. He certainly didn’t feel lonely - he couldn’t, not when Genma would find him working out alone or running laps alone or challenging himself alone and simply smile and join him. How could he feel lonely when his dearest friend would drag him out to ramen or over to his apartment for dinner after training? How could he feel lonely when Genma smiled at him so genuinely?

One morning Gai blinked and froze in the middle of working through a tricky taijutsu sequence he was working on to celebrate becoming a jōnin, his usual focus shaken by a sudden realization.

_I love him._

It was a quiet truth, dropped like a pebble into the calm space in Gai’s soul, the part of him he had found through years of practice and dedication to his taijutsu.

He felt this new truth settle into his being, felt it slot into place beside his Will of Fire and his faith in Konoha and his people, felt it snugly press up against the Springtime of Youth in his heart.

_Oh._

_I love Genma._

Genma, who stared at him from a few feet away with a bemused expression, his own taijutsu sequence halted as well.

“Gai-gwaa? Did you pull something?” His voice was as calm and kind as ever, the barbless insult flowing easily from him, a term he’d only ever used for Gai.

Gai considered telling him, blurting out his love and admiration, his realization of his desire to remain always at Genma’s side, to always fight together and build up their village and maybe even create their own home together - and he stopped himself. He closed his mouth around the words he wanted to bellow from the top of Hokage Rock and thought for a moment, while Genma waited patiently.

Gai could tell him. Genma would either accept his love or reject him.

If he did accept his love, Genma would smile and then - what would happen next? What would he say? Gai couldn’t even imagine. The future was blank.

But if Genma rejected him… He could imagine that all too easily. Genma’s face, so calm and kind, finally creased in disgust and disdain, the way so many other shinobi had reacted to Gai over the years. He could see it so clearly and it terrified him.

So he lied.

“No, I’m fine, dear friend!” Gai laughed and tried to project his usual confidence.

Genma gave him a long look, silently inviting him to elaborate, to try to convince him, but Gai couldn’t. Genma would see through any lie he told, would push and prod out of concern, and he’d figure it out. Gai wouldn’t destroy his most treasured friendship over something like unrequited love.

“To prove that I am hale and healthy, I will run a hundred laps around the village on my hands!” Gai shouted and sprinted away on his palms, ignoring Genma’s voice as he called for him to come back.

Gai had known for years that he was the worst liar in the village, but it had never bothered him much. Until now. Until this.

He vowed to himself that he would hide his love, tamp it down, conceal it behind his smiles and laughter and outbursts. He would keep it to himself. He vowed, and felt it burn itself into place beside the other vow in his heart.

He would keep his love to himself, and he wouldn’t scare Genma again.

One vow he’d done his best to keep through all the dangers life threw at them all.

One vow he’d only just sworn.

Both of which he had to keep at all cost.

**

Gai did his best to keep his vows.

It grew easier over months of deception and calculation, exuberance and laughter to cover love and fear. Gai had to distance himself from Genma at times, when he felt far too deeply and far too much. He took long missions on the border and chasing missing-nin. He found new training grounds and new routes for his runs. He could never distance himself for long, a day or two at most outside of missions, and it only made him treasure the times he could be around Genma all the more, when he was able to control himself and keep from showing his love in every word and action. He held every interaction, kind word, and shared meal close to his heart. And he forced it to be enough.

**

Gai did his best to keep his vows.

He didn’t always succeed, however. There were many injuries and close calls over years and promotions, and every time they were safe from danger Genma would scold and insult and yell, whether ‘safe’ meant patching their wounds in a forest, waking up in the hospital to worried friends’ faces, or even both, one after the other. It was just how their lives went. Being a shinobi meant risking everything for the mission, for Konoha, for your friends, for their allies.

This time though. It had been far too close this time.

**

Gai was out on a B rank mission with two newly-promoted tokujō, a courier mission that went sour. They escaped from the city they’d been captured in, and were nearly back to Konoha when they were attacked by a team of Kusa-nin. Gai was both the senior shinobi on the mission and the team leader - it was his responsibility to complete the mission and keep his comrades alive. He sent the other two ahead. They were reluctant, but he commanded and they left him, racing to Konoha to deliver their package and get backup. He would hold off the Kusa-nin until help arrived.

Even seriously injured, Gai fought hard, opening gate after gate as time passed, as more Kusa-nin appeared, as his own backup did not. He was moving into his stance to open the sixth gate when he felt a gentle hand on his shoulder. He turned, swift as a raging tiger, and saw Genma, his senbon clenched between teeth bared in fury as he threw kunai with deadly precision, gently pushing past Gai to stand firm before him.

The sight of Genma’s strong back in front of him told Gai that none of the Kusa-nin would survive the night.

Gai panted for breath, his energy fading fast now that backup had finally arrived, Konoha and Kiri-nin swarming past him, past Genma, to slam into the now-desperate Kusa-nin. His last sight was of strong lines under a worn flak jacket, a Konoha hitai-ate swimming before Gai’s eyes as he collapsed against Genma. Gai smelled sweat and clean hair and blood as Genma reached up to catch him and hold him tight against his back. He heard Genma shouting as he twisted in place, orders and demands for him to stay awake, felt himself caught again and lifted into strong arms, and his last thought was that he’d failed to keep his first vow, yet again - Genma’s heartbeat, frantic against his ear, gave away his terror.

He woke to the faces of his friends all around him. He had apparently been waking up on and off for the last week, and they were glad to see him coherent at last. As his doctor checked him over, Gai learned that he’d been unconscious in the hospital for two weeks, and he’d be stuck there for another month, at least, regaining his strength and healing his wounds. None of this really bothered Gai - he had completed his mission and saved the new tokujō. Even being stuck in the hospital wasn’t as dire as other shinobi made it seem. Gai knew the importance of pushing himself to his limits, but also the vital need to build up his strength, to give his body the energy and care it needed to get stronger. He would ignore it on occasion, pushing himself in training more than was probably healthy, but hospital stays hadn’t bothered him for years.

What bothered him was that Genma wasn’t there in the room when he woke. According to Ebisu, who twitched and sweated nervously as he spoke, Genma hadn’t come to see him in the hospital since the first time he’d woken up, confused and disoriented, a week earlier.

**

Gai exited Ichiraku in a crowd of jōnin, friends and allies from Kiri and his even his eternal rival, all celebrating his release from the hospital. Good food, good friends, and good conversation should have been a blessing and stoked his youthful flame, but Gai’s laughter and grins that evening were only to keep his friends from worrying. Despite everything they were doing to lift him up, the only thing he could think about was Genma’s absence. It had been a full month since Genma had rescued him, and Gai hadn’t seen a trace of him since. He hadn’t gone so long without seeing Genma since… He couldn’t actually think of a time they’d spent more than a week without seeing each other, aside from his border patrols and Genma’s occasional infiltration missions. And he knew Genma wasn’t out of the village on a mission, because when he’d asked Ebisu, Ebisu said he’d seen their teammate buying groceries earlier in the day.

Zabuza came up beside him, laughing at something Hayate was saying about a spar, both of them carrying their swords, and Gai knew they’d be heading to one of the more deserted training grounds shortly. Zabuza had been trying to catch Hayate when he was in the village for ages, and Gai and Genma had been eager to see what the two swordsmen could do. If only Genma was _here_ and Gai could tell him and everything would go back to normal.

_Gossip about him and his shadow appears!_ Gai thought as he finally grinned for real, spotting Genma calling goodbyes as he left a dango stall. Genma looked up, his eyes catching on Gai, and in an instant Gai _moved_ , crossing the distance between them and lifting Genma off the ground in a tight hug.

“Genma! My friend! I am overjoyed to have found you at last!” Gai laughed, the happiest he’d been all day. Genma hadn’t left him alone, he’d been coming to find him all along! A sparkling sunset blossomed behind them as their friends encircled them, talking and laughing and filling the air with the happiness Gai had only ever found when his friends were near. His heart swelled and he forced himself to ignore it, because finally, _finally_ , everything felt right.

Or it did, until Genma twisted against him and forced Gai to release him.

Gai was shocked still, his arms open in the air on either side of Genma, and the look on Genma’s face… Gai stepped back at the wounded fury emanating from Genma, the shinobi around them sensing the change in atmosphere and falling silent.

Genma didn’t say anything though, just looked at Gai, anguish in his eyes. He laughed once, a short disbelieving bark of sound as he shook his head. He bit his lip for a moment before he rolled his senbon from one side of his mouth to the other, a nervous tic Gai had seen the few times when Genma was lost for words.

Genma was a quiet person, but that didn’t mean he didn’t know what he wanted to say. He’d always had a comment for Gai, an eye roll or a sarcastic look, a twitch or a shrug or a shift in his stance, a myriad of little movements that Gai had learned to read over the years. Now though…

Genma didn’t have any words at all.

Which meant that Gai would have to be the one to speak.

“Genma, come and join us,” He started, intending to invite Genma to head to the training ground with them, and the bar afterward for drinks and cards and as quiet of an evening as shinobi from two villages could manage. Genma was always up for spending time together with his friends, and he loved being around their new allies from Kiri, he’d told Gai they reminded him of his mother. He often claimed that socializing with so many people was what had kept him relatively normal. He should have jumped at the chance to do so now, or at the very least, he should have been happy to spend time with Gai. Genma always stuck a little bit closer after Gai had been in the hospital. He had hardly let Gai out of his sight in the past.

But Genma was shaking his head even before Gai finished speaking.

“Gai-gwaa,” Genma pleaded, his eyes shut, his face turned away. “You can’t keep doing this, nearly dying and then acting like nothing-” He cut himself off with a sigh. After a moment, his voice dropped to a murmur, quiet but perfectly audible, and the crowd of their friends around them flinched in sympathy at Genma’s broken words. “I almost lost you this time. I can’t- I need some space.”

He leapt for the roofs, triggered a shunshin as his feet left the ground, and Gai was left behind in a swirl of leaves.

There was a moment of absolute silence, a static whine in Gai’s ears, a stab of pain in his heart, and a complete lack of understanding as to what had just happened.

Zabuza whistled, “You’re in for it now, going out with us when your husband’s so worried. How long have you two been married?” He asked into the ringing silence, watching chakra leaves dissipate in front of a desolate Gai.

A desolate Gai who suddenly turned his head with the most ridiculously incredulous expression, blinking wildly as he sputtered, “M-married? Husband?! Zabuza-san, do you need to see a medic?”

Zabuza crossed his arms with a roll of his eyes, looking around for someone to back him up. Instead he saw Gai’s expression reflected on the faces around them. “‘ _Gai-gwaa_ ’?” He repeated mockingly, and every Konoha-nin remained confused. “...You have no idea what that means, do you?” He was unsure whether he should be feeling anger on Genma’s behalf or pity for Gai.

Gai puffed himself up, trying hard to act as if nothing was wrong. He declared with a shaky grin, “I do know some Kiri dialect, I studied after meeting Genma!” His grin faltered for a moment over his friend’s name, but he pushed through it, pointing a finger at Zabuza with a snap and beaming even brighter. “Gai-gwaa is an insult, one Genma has used since we became teammates as genin!”

Zabuza paused for several seconds.

_Since they were genin?!_

Definitely going with pity for Gai.

“Akisamiyoo,” Zabuza breathed, shaking his head and staring at Gai with so much pity in his eyes that Konoha’s green beast bristled. Zabuza had found that pity usually inspired that reaction. Grinning, he held up a hand and drawled, deliberately thickening his accent, “Daa, daa, no sense getting upset with me when you’re the furaa!”

Gai glared, knowing that Zabuza was taunting him. He was tempted, oh so very tempted, to challenge Zabuza to a spar for the answers. But considering how injured he had been, and exactly how displeased Genma would be with him if he sparred right after getting out of the hospital... He hauled himself back under control with both hands, pushed down the urge to beam and grin and challenge to get what he wanted, and asked, very clearly, “What does Gai-gwaa mean?”

Zabuza curled his lip at Gai’s sad attempt at Kiri dialect. He did not want to be the one to deliver this type of news, it wasn’t his style at all, but judging by the fire in Gai’s eyes he wasn’t getting out of here otherwise. He’d been waiting far too long to spar with Konoha’s only decent swordsman.

_Besides,_ Zabuza darted a glance at the crowd of curious Konoha shinobi surrounding them and had to grin again. _They’re Gai’s friends. They’ll definitely regret knowing._ The way his grin made the crowd shift like they wanted to step away made it all that much more hilarious.

Zabuza shouldered Kubikiribōchō with a smirk and leaned down as if to whisper, ensuring that all the Konoha-nin in range leaned in to hear him.

“Gai-gwaa isn’t an insult from Genma,” He met Gai’s eyes, reveling in the confusion he could plainly read there. “It’s an endearment.”

“Oh _hell_ no,” A voice whispered from the middle of the crowd of Konoha-nin, and a heartbeat later a log replaced a certain silver-haired jōnin.

Nobody else seemed to understand, not even Gai, and Zabuza rolled his eyes at all the confused faces. He hated having to spell things out for oblivious idiots.

“He’s not pissed at you, _furaa_ , he’s _pining_.”

With that bomb dropped, Zabuza decided to make his exit. The fun part was over - no sense in sticking around for whatever emotional response Gai was sure to have. He headed toward the training grounds. Hayate would catch up, and maybe after their spar Zabuza could show him how Kiri-nin made it clear that they wanted someone. Whoever taught Genma to talk clearly hadn’t taught him how to get into someone’s pants.

**

Gai was shocked silent, his eyes wide as saucers, his jaw dropped.

The ringing noise was back in his ears, echoing through his brain, chasing out every thought save one.

_He’s pining._ Zabuza’s statement bounced around inside Gai’s head, growing louder and louder. _He’s pining. He’s pining. Genma is pining!_

A lot of Genma’s behavior might finally make sense, if Gai could manage to turn the world on its head for a moment and suppose that Genma had been pining for him for years. He’d always been confused why Genma would care so much when he got hurt. They all got hurt, on missions and during training and while inventing new techniques. A shinobi’s life wasn’t a safe life at all, and they all accepted that. Only, Genma couldn’t seem to accept that Gai’s life wasn’t a safe life. He could deal with it as long as Gai wasn’t injured too badly, but those times it had come close… Genma tended to lose it.

_Like with the poisoned kunai,_ Gai realized, thinking back to the first time Genma had really lost it. The first time Gai had almost died in front of him. _The first time he called me Gai-gwaa._

Gai straightened, wondering for a moment how he’d ended up seated on the ground before he brushed the thought away as unimportant. There was only one important thing now.

If Genma was pining, that meant he might have a chance.

He had to find Genma.

Gai dashed away at top speed, raising a cloud of dust that left his gaping friends spitting out grit and yelling after him. The crowd of shinobi glanced at each other as the dust settled, and turned as one toward the closest bar.

**

Genma found Gai a few hours later.

Gai had run the length and breadth of Konoha, darting along streets and roofs and alleyways. His legs burned after even just that short amount of exercise, still recovering from his long stay in the hospital, but he wasn’t going to stop until he found Genma.

Genma, perched on a sturdy branch at the top of a towering tree on the edge of the Konoha forest, had been flipping his senbon over his fingers for an indefinite amount of time, focusing on nothing at all. He was letting his thoughts float through his mind, trying not to catch any one in particular. The idea was to let his mind go, think of anything and nothing, meditate until he felt just a little more centered. Instead, he ended up watching countless moments with Gai pass before his mind’s eye, no matter how many times he restarted his meditation.

Thinking of Gai usually brought him some peace, a sense of happiness and springtime and rightness with the world, but not tonight. Not after he’d finally realized that Gai’s friendship wasn’t enough after all. He’d been telling himself for years that it was, that just being around Gai was enough to make him happy, even though Gai would never return his feelings. But last month, when Gai almost died yet again, he’d started to admit defeat. It was tearing him up to love Gai and watch him fling himself headlong into danger and then brush it off and treat Genma’s worries, his love, like… Like it was nothing. So he’d decided to avoid him, let his love die quietly, mourn it and move on. It had seemed like everything was going well. His heart hadn't been hurting as much, his days were getting brighter, he’d even managed to clean his apartment and had gone out to buy groceries to cook a real dinner for the first time in a month. Things were looking up.

And then tonight he’d run smack into Gai. Who acted like everything was normal. As if Genma’s heart hadn’t shattered into a million pieces when Gai smiled. As if the pieces hadn’t turned to dust at the realization that he couldn’t stand to even be near Gai because of how much it hurt.

_So much for meditation._

Genma gave up with a frustrated huff, sticking his senbon between his teeth and looking out over Konoha. Maybe looking outside himself would provide a better distraction. He could see glints of moonlight off clashing metal in one of the nearby training grounds, a well-known yellow flash appearing in the direction of Ichiraku, and a line of dissipating dust clouds trailing after a familiar sprinter in green.

_Well,_ Genma thought, resigned more than anything, _I’m definitely distracted._

He watched the clouds of dust raise and slowly settle over a nearby street, watched the blur of Konoha’s green beast dart over the roof of a building in his path, and sighed at himself. He knew Gai was looking for him, and even aching and lonely and trying so hard to just _stop caring_ , he couldn’t let Gai run himself into the ground, not so soon after getting out of the hospital. Genma tried to force himself to move, to give chase and cut Gai off at a crossroad, but he didn’t have any energy at all. He felt like someone had snuck up on him while he sat in the tree and unplugged him, drained all his will and left him empty. The most he could manage to do was wait for Gai to run close enough to the tree and spit his senbon toward him, aiming for the air beside Gai’s head.

**

Gai darted a hand up and caught Genma’s senbon between his fingers. He blinked at it in confusion before he looked up, tracking the senbon’s flight, and saw Genma. The next second he was leaping from branch to branch, stopping to crouch on the limb just below Genma’s seat. They stared at each other for a moment, and when Genma lifted his hand Gai actually flinched. Genma sighed and patted the wide branch beside him, inviting Gai to sit.

“We need to talk,” He said, and Gai winced at the pain in his friend’s voice. He hesitantly sat beside Genma, unsure of himself. He hadn’t felt this unsure since before he became part of Team Chōza, and the thought that he might return to those lonely days scared him more than he was willing to admit.

Genma didn’t say anything at first, just stared out over the village, but Gai had done enough damage breaking his silence for one night. He waited as patiently as he could for Genma to gather his thoughts.

“I can’t keep doing this,” Genma said, still not looking at Gai. “I know it isn’t fair to you, you haven’t promised me anything, but I can’t keep caring and being so close to you and yet having nothing. I just,” he laughed, the sound twisted and bitter, closer to tears than real laughter. “It _hurts_. Gai-gwaa,” his voice broke. Genma cleared his throat, and when he spoke again, correcting himself, Gai’s heart stuttered in his chest. “Gai. I just can’t do this anymore. I need some space.”

Gai had to say something, anything at all, but his breath was caught, his throat closed painfully tight. When Genma continued, his voice barely a whisper, Gai’s heart nearly stopped.

“I’ve been considering transferring to Kiri, just for a year or so. To get some space. Clear my head a bit. Who knows, maybe I’ll even meet someone there.” Genma’s defeated grin was barely holding back his sorrow, and Gai could see that his eyes were wet with unshed tears. It was a mockery of the easy smiles he’d given Gai since the day they met, and finally Gai found himself able to speak.

“I didn’t know.”

Genma paused, willing his face calm, and turned to meet Gai’s eyes.

“Zabuza had to tell me what you meant. I thought ‘Gai-gwaa’ was an insult.”

Genma looked like he couldn’t believe his ears. “You didn’t know,” he repeated with a deceptively even tone. “All these years-” His voice broke with an incredulous laugh. “All these years and you thought I was _insulting you? Akisamiyoo!_ ” After a moment he must've realized Gai hadn’t understood him, hadn’t _been_ understanding him for years, and he scrubbed his hands over his bandana. “Shit!”

After a moment, Genma dropped his hands. He looked at Gai with so much hurt in his eyes.

_He looks exhausted._ Gai reached out, wanting to soothe his pain, but Genma pulled away and let his hand fall between them. Seeing Genma like this was awful. He had to do something. But first he had to know the truth.

“I know what Zabuza said you meant, but I am wary of misunderstanding further,” Gai said softly, watching his friend’s reaction closely. He didn’t want to hurt him, but he had to know. He had to find out how to make this right. “Genma, what does it mean?”

Genma stared at him, motionless, and his voice was a dull monotone when he asked, “Isn’t it obvious?”

Gai shook his head. “I must hear it from you. Please, Genma. Why do you call me Gai-gwaa?”

**

Genma ducked his head, unable to meet Gai’s eyes and explain himself. He was definitely leaving the village after this - life would be unbearable otherwise. But at least this was the end of it. All his heartache and wanting would be over with just a few words. That thought gave Genma the strength to raise his head.

He looked directly at Gai, at his companion and friend, the man who’d stolen his heart over spars and meals and late nights studying taijutsu scrolls, and said, “I call you Gai-gwaa because that’s how my parents always spoke to each other. Pet names and endearments and little things to show how much they cared.” The corner of Genma’s mouth quirked up into a sad smile and he said, “I’m in love with you. I’ve been in love with you for years.”

A gentle breeze rustled through the leaves around them, blowing strands of Genma’s hair into his face as he held his breath and waited for Gai’s reaction. He was prepared for shouting, for flailing and yells, anger or denial or any number of negative reactions.

He wasn’t prepared for Gai to break into the biggest smile he’d ever seen.

“You love me?” Gai repeated, beaming so brightly Genma could see his teeth gleaming in the darkness.

Genma nodded, not daring to hope, trying not to even breathe too hard in case it broke whatever was happening. Gai’s grin widened even further, and Genma’s heart was racing so fast he was half-afraid Gai would hear it.

“I am glad,” Gai said clearly, and Genma didn't need to worry about breathing now, his breath was caught in his throat, and his heart twisted painfully as Gai continued. “I had never dared to hope that my feelings would be returned.”

Genma felt the world around him dim, the moonlight fading and the forest darkening until the only thing he could see was Gai. Gai. Who had just…

_What?_

“What?” He croaked out, and Gai’s wide grin softened to a gentle smile.

“I love you, my dearest friend,” Gai said, reaching out again, and this time Genma didn’t pull away.

Gai grasped his hands, his large hands so gentle as they wrapped around Genma’s. He stroked his thumbs along Genma’s palms and the catch of Gai’s rough calluses against his own sent a shudder down Genma’s spine.

“I am honored that I have held your heart for so long, though I did not know it,” Gai continued. “I would be honored if you would accept my heart in return!”

Genma couldn’t find the words to answer, and Gai deflated slightly before steeling himself and speaking again.

“I would be honored to spend my life at your side in any capacity.” Gai declared, as sincerely as only he could, and Genma startled, shocked at the implications. “You need only let me know what you would require. But please, do not go to Kiri.” Gai’s grip tightened and tears suddenly streamed down his face. “Do not leave me.”

“I won’t,” Genma blurted out, almost without thinking. He meant it though. There was no reason to go to Kiri if Gai- He could hardly think it. Genma shook himself and forced his thoughts to settle. If Gai loved him. That changed everything.

_I can stay. We can stay together. We can-_

“Go out with me.”

_I didn’t mean to say that._

Genma’s cheeks slowly reddened as he registered that words that had already left his mouth. He would’ve liked to be cooler about asking Gai out, maybe over dinner with flowers or something. He definitely would’ve liked to be more suave about it. All his usual calm had evaporated slowly over the course of the last month, and tonight was the most out-of-control he’d felt since his genin days. Judging by the blush mirroring his, Gai didn’t mind in the slightest.

“Yes,” Gai agreed, his grin ramping back up, even more tears streaming down his face. “Yes!” He laughed, lunging forward to pin Genma to the tree behind him with a tight hug.

Genma wiggled his hands free from between them to hug back, one hand on Gai’s waist and the other on the back of his head. He tucked his face into Gai’s neck, breathing in the scent of sweat and tears, familiar from years of sparring and shared rooms on missions, years of ridiculous challenges and over-the-top declarations of friendship and the power of youth. He laughed as he thought back over all their years of friendship and was struck with a sudden thought, sharp as a kunai, slicing right through his happiness.

“We’ve wasted so much time,” he whispered into Gai’s shoulder, the thought eating at him, regret so sharp and strong he felt sick, unable to ignore the years of misunderstandings between them. Everything would have been so different if only Gai had known, if Genma had told him what he meant. They’d wasted _so much time!_

Gai shook his head, pulling back to grip Genma’s shoulders and stare fiercely into his eyes, no tears to be seen. “We’ve wasted nothing, my dear friend. I have had you at my side for many years, and I hope to have you at my side for many years more!”

Genma met Gai’s stare, his eyes burning into Genma’s own, swirling with pain and regret. Genma forced himself to take a deep breath and nod firmly, to shove the sadness and panic down to deal with later. Gai was right. There wasn’t anything to be done to change the past. They could only move forward and look forward to what was to come. He called on the calm that usually came to him so easily and pulled it around him like a shield. The thought of years with Gai - years of sunshine and happiness and _love_ \- called his smile back, stronger than before.

Gai threw his arm around Genma’s back and turned them both to face the open air as he laughed, “The only difference is that now we will have even more of each other!” Gai tucked him into his side and flung out his free arm to emphasize his point as Genma chuckled.

Genma had to grin at Gai’s innocent statement, darting a wicked look at him and wiggling his eyebrows, “We’ll have much more of each other, I hope.”

Gai’s cheeks flushed even as he grinned back.

**

They sat there as the night settled around them, neither quite knowing where to go from there, content to simply soak in the knowledge that everything was going to turn out alright.

“Genma-gwaa,” Gai said as he glanced down at Genma, happily cuddled into his side. He had intended to say something about getting down from the tree or maybe about getting some food or tea, but he couldn’t go on because Genma was suddenly as red as an apple, his blush slowly traveling down his neck to disappear beneath his collar, and Gai had an abrupt, incredibly strong urge to see exactly how far down that blush went. He grinned brightly, ignoring the thought for the moment, and leaned closer to his dearest friend. _“Genma-gwaa_ ,” he repeated, enjoying how Genma’s blush brightened even more. “I’ve always thought that the forest was quite romantic in the moonlight. Would you let me show you?”

Genma didn’t answer, just blushed and stared at him and Gai had a moment of panic, a heartbeat to think over everything else he should’ve said, should’ve done instead. This was so new and he didn’t really know what he was doing and-

And then Genma leaned up, pressed them even closer together and kissed him, sweet and slow. When he pulled back they were both blushing and Gai’s jaw dropped for the second time that night. Genma had just _kissed him_ … Gai felt all his blood rushing to his face, steam rising in the night air as his brain overheated. The ridiculousness of both of them blushing like genin over a simple kiss hit him then and he sputtered for a moment before Genma started laughing, having had the same thought.

“Yes, I’d like that,” Genma finally replied as his laughter faded. “Let’s go take a moonlit walk.” He paused and stared out at the darkened forest canopy for a moment before he smiled sweetly - _lovingly_ \- at Gai, an expression in his eyes that Gai had seen countless times and only now understood. “Think you can catch me, Gai-gwaa?”

Gai only had half a second to stare in confusion before Genma laughed loud and free and threw himself from the branch to leap for the next tree, a challenge in the smirk he threw over his shoulder. Gai grinned as he watched Genma jumping swiftly from branch to branch.

He’d always loved a challenge.

**

**Author's Note:**

> Glossary and Links to Okinawan Dialect Resources
> 
> My Google-fu is strong, but figuring out dialects in a language you don’t speak is difficult.  
> Here’s my glossary, but please do let me know if I’ve messed up terribly.
> 
> Gai-gwaa/Genma-gwaa - ‘-gwaa’ is a suffix endearment when used with the name of someone the same rank or age as you, or with your spouse’s name. It is an insult when someone lower rank or younger than you uses it with your name. Gai only knew the insult definition. Zabuza assumes that Genma is using ‘-gwaa’ because he and Gai are married.
> 
> Maasun - Literally means “be defeated”, actually is a euphemism for death, since outright talking about death is kinda bad luck
> 
> Habu - Poisonous pit viper, very nasty, fairly taboo word on Okinawa
> 
> Jiraa! - You’re kidding me!
> 
> Akisamiyoo - Oh my God
> 
> Daa, daa - Hey, hey
> 
> Furaa - Idiot
> 
> Gossip about him and his shadow appears! - The Japanese equivalent of "Speak of the devil and he shall appear!" There's a whole wiki of these and I love it.
> 
> JLect - Japanese Dialect
> 
> Okinawan/English Wordbook
> 
> Routledge Handbook of Japanese Sociolinguistics
> 
> Handbook of the Ryukyuan Languages
> 
> Speak of the Devil Wiki


End file.
